Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. Ephesians 5:21
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4
Typically, we think of submission in terms of the marriage relationship … but before Paul explains any specific roles and relationships in Ephesians, he begins with an admonition to submit to one another. Why? Out of reverence for Christ.
Looking at this discipline in the context of parenting and considering Christ’s example, I am reminded of a passage from Matthew’s gospel:
Then children were brought to him that he might lay his hands on them and pray. The disciples rebuked the people, but Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.” And he laid his hands on them and went away. {Matthew 19:13-15}
Jesus said not to hinder the children because the kingdom of heaven belongs to them. I wonder, sometimes, do I hinder my child from coming to Jesus? From drawing near to Him? Do my words, my actions, the things I don’t say … do they point her to Him?
As we contemplate submission today – and maybe next week too – I want us to consider if we are parenting from the position of submission or from dominion. I’m not advocating a laissez-faire, anything goes, approach to parenting. Nor am I suggesting that we give our children freedoms they are not equipped to manage. This isn’t about them … it’s about us!
What is in our hearts as we parent? Are we truly laying ourselves down for our children? Putting their best interests ahead of our own? Or are we merely playing the part, creating the image?
Richard Foster
I think that can manifest itself in so many ways … and often we convey our disappointment to our children, giving them the impression that our expectations are more important than they are.
I’m still working through this … still struggling to discern how this discipline of submission relates to being a mom. Next week, we’ll look at this some more. In the meantime, what are your thoughts? Are we called to submit to our children? What does it look like when we do? How does laying ourselves down teach our children about the Person of Christ? How does it affect them when we don’t?
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
Ugh. You are really shining a light in a deep, dark hole I do not want to look at. Thank you sister. I’ve been struggling, and contemplating this very issue. Just hadn’t put it into words. Submission towards our children. Are my actions pointing them to Jesus, or am I hindering them? I thought I was just not being gracious enough. I think that there is more. And you are on the right track. Can’t wait until next week to see where this strand goes.
Twitter: ModernMrsDarcy
September 14, 2011 at 10:38 am
Um, yes. This was a huge, eye-opening, major shocker to me when I had my first baby: I had lost any semblance of control over my own life! Of course, was I ever REALLY in control? No, but it wasn’t quite so obvious until I had my little (high-needs) baby.
The potential for parenting bringing me closer to God is HUGE if I approach my life and calling with an attitude of submission and not one of dominion. Well said!
Twitter: careycbailey
September 15, 2011 at 1:49 am
Hmmm…okay lots of food for thought here. My thoughts: As parents we submit to God as our guide and our parent. IF and because we do that we are able to parent from a place of confidence and authority knowing that our own head is bowed to a God who knows far more than we could know. I would say we lay our lives down for Christ not for our kids. True we sacrifice, anguish and yearn for them but I would say that by setting the example that our lives are laid down for Christ is what draws them to Him. There is intrigue there for them. I am rabbling at this point and could wish I didn’t write any of this in the morning.
With Joy, Carey
Good thoughts, Carey. I’m looking forward to exploring this more. {And hearing more from you … even in the morning!!
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